What's the best study guide?

Hallo everybody,

I want to prepare myself for 70-270 (windows XP) and after studying
Microsoft's Training Kit

I'd like to buy a study guide with the actual exam questions in order to
make sure that I'll pass the exam.

After a little research I found there are a few vendors that sell study
guides for different prices with which

they guarantee to pass the exam.

- Certsimulators.com $32

- cheatexams.com $32

- examsheets.net $50

- actual-exams.com $22

- testkiller.com $40

But which one shall I buy? Do any of you guys has experience with one of
them?

I'll greatly appreciate any response.

Thanks

Vasili

MCSE
Mon Sep 01 08:12:46 CDT 2003

Hmmm, which one should you buy?

NONE! You should not use braindumps, you should pass this easy exam on your
own using your knowledge and experiences.

Best,
Will
www.mcseworld.com




"Vasili" <no_spam_christopoulos@wanadoo.nl> wrote in message
news:3f533e83$0$49098$e4fe514c@news.xs4all.nl...
> Hallo everybody,
>
> I want to prepare myself for 70-270 (windows XP) and after studying
> Microsoft's Training Kit
>
> I'd like to buy a study guide with the actual exam questions in order to
> make sure that I'll pass the exam.
>
> After a little research I found there are a few vendors that sell study
> guides for different prices with which
>
> they guarantee to pass the exam.
>
> - Certsimulators.com $32
>
> - cheatexams.com $32
>
> - examsheets.net $50
>
> - actual-exams.com $22
>
> - testkiller.com $40
>
> But which one shall I buy? Do any of you guys has experience with one of
> them?
>
> I'll greatly appreciate any response.
>
> Thanks
>
> Vasili
>
>
>

Ray
Mon Sep 01 08:34:56 CDT 2003

As the great Jimi Hendrix said, "Castles made of sand slip into the sea,
eventually"

Don't degrade yourself by memorizing exam questions, learn the material as
you hurt yourself more as a certified person that doesn't know what they are
doing.

--
Ray Higdon MCSE, MCDBA, CCNA
---
"Vasili" <no_spam_christopoulos@wanadoo.nl> wrote in message
news:3f533e83$0$49098$e4fe514c@news.xs4all.nl...
> Hallo everybody,
>
> I want to prepare myself for 70-270 (windows XP) and after studying
> Microsoft's Training Kit
>
> I'd like to buy a study guide with the actual exam questions in order to
> make sure that I'll pass the exam.
>
> After a little research I found there are a few vendors that sell study
> guides for different prices with which
>
> they guarantee to pass the exam.
>
> - Certsimulators.com $32
>
> - cheatexams.com $32
>
> - examsheets.net $50
>
> - actual-exams.com $22
>
> - testkiller.com $40
>
> But which one shall I buy? Do any of you guys has experience with one of
> them?
>
> I'll greatly appreciate any response.
>
> Thanks
>
> Vasili
>
>
>

billyw
Mon Sep 01 08:50:13 CDT 2003

could agree more with the sentiment.
nice analogy also...
btw you really need to get your website sorted out.. it's not very good

"Ray Higdon" <rayhigdon@higdonconsulting.com> wrote in message
news:uWxxR1IcDHA.1044@TK2MSFTNGP10.phx.gbl...
> As the great Jimi Hendrix said, "Castles made of sand slip into the sea,
> eventually"
>
> Don't degrade yourself by memorizing exam questions, learn the material as
> you hurt yourself more as a certified person that doesn't know what they
are
> doing.
>
> --
> Ray Higdon MCSE, MCDBA, CCNA
> ---
> "Vasili" <no_spam_christopoulos@wanadoo.nl> wrote in message
> news:3f533e83$0$49098$e4fe514c@news.xs4all.nl...
> > Hallo everybody,
> >
> > I want to prepare myself for 70-270 (windows XP) and after studying
> > Microsoft's Training Kit
> >
> > I'd like to buy a study guide with the actual exam questions in order to
> > make sure that I'll pass the exam.
> >
> > After a little research I found there are a few vendors that sell study
> > guides for different prices with which
> >
> > they guarantee to pass the exam.
> >
> > - Certsimulators.com $32
> >
> > - cheatexams.com $32
> >
> > - examsheets.net $50
> >
> > - actual-exams.com $22
> >
> > - testkiller.com $40
> >
> > But which one shall I buy? Do any of you guys has experience with one of
> > them?
> >
> > I'll greatly appreciate any response.
> >
> > Thanks
> >
> > Vasili
> >
> >
> >
>
>

Lady
Mon Sep 01 09:18:03 CDT 2003

I only use www.selftestsoftware.com The price is $99, but they guarantee
that you pass as well as explain why each right answer is right and why each
wrong answer is wrong.


"Vasili" <no_spam_christopoulos@wanadoo.nl> wrote in message
news:3f533e83$0$49098$e4fe514c@news.xs4all.nl...
> Hallo everybody,
>
> I want to prepare myself for 70-270 (windows XP) and after studying
> Microsoft's Training Kit
>
> I'd like to buy a study guide with the actual exam questions in order to
> make sure that I'll pass the exam.
>
> After a little research I found there are a few vendors that sell study
> guides for different prices with which
>
> they guarantee to pass the exam.
>
> - Certsimulators.com $32
>
> - cheatexams.com $32
>
> - examsheets.net $50
>
> - actual-exams.com $22
>
> - testkiller.com $40
>
> But which one shall I buy? Do any of you guys has experience with one of
> them?
>
> I'll greatly appreciate any response.
>
> Thanks
>
> Vasili
>
>
>

S
Mon Sep 01 09:16:36 CDT 2003

"roYal" <roYal@wideopenwest.com> wrote in message
news:HoKcnd4ME_bI286iU-KYuQ@wideopenwest.com...
> do not buy that crap you bastard. It's freaking pos people like you who,
> who ruin the industry for us people who actually want to make a living.
If
> you do cheat exams and don't actually learn the material, once you get a
> job, you're going to get fired so fast you don't know what hit you. Have
> some dignity, and get a real study guide and actually learn the material.
> PFT. I pity you.
>

RoYaL, while I couldnt agree more there is one point I need to stress. This
guy is thinking of cheating on the exams... you told him to get a real study
guide... your post is confusing in this matter. I know what you meant...
and that is to get a real book(s) and materials that are legal. Just
thought I would clarify for the original poster Valili.

To add to this post......

http://www.mcpmag.com/columns/article.asp?EditorialsID=519

http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/0,,sid9_gci883405,00.html

Valili, the above posts are updates on the owner of cheatsheets.com and how
he was busted by Microsoft for selling illegal material. All the sites you
posted are illegal and you CAN lose your certifications if you are caught
using such material and will not be allowed to retest for your certs again
with Microsoft and others. If you chose to pursue this avenue, well, let me
just say that having the certs removed from you will be one less
"professional" on the market and I need to thank you for that... one less
out there makes it easier for the rest of us to find and hold jobs in this
field. Save your money and go directly to work at McDonalds as that is
where you will end up once your certs have been stripped from you. I have
failed certs before and am quite proud of that fact as I failed on my own
merit. I have gone "back to the drawing board" and studied again and
passed. In this way, I am very proud of my accomplishments as I did it the
legal, moral and honest way. Do yourself a favor... dont cheat and do
everything you can to get and keep your certs and be proud of that!!!

here are some resources that should be helpful to you:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/002-9978721-3504804

http://www.microsoft.com/traincert/

http://www.microsoft.com/traincert/start/itpro.asp

http://www.microsoft.com/traincert/start/beginners.asp

http://www.microsoft.com/technet/default.asp

http://www.microsoft.com/technet/treeview/default.asp?url=/technet/prodtechnol/default.asp

http://selftest.kaplanit.com/Default.asp

http://www.measureup.com/site/

these are just a few sources for information on MS products and training.
The last 2 in the list are MS sactioned sites that you can use. They are
approved by Microsoft as testing software to check your readiness for the
exams. I have used Self Test before and found them not only quite
informative but also a great guide to see if you are ready and to let you
see where your weaknesses are. So if you are so set and buying something,
buy from these guys... they dont cost much and have better chances to have
you pass the exam legally.

Measure up even has a spot where you can try a demo for free to see if this
is what you want to purchase:

http://www.measureup.com/cart/DisplayProductsMUP.asp?plid=&did=0&vendor=&cid=0&test=&testname=&mid=&crttrk=&showDemos=

and here is a great resourse at selftest:

http://selftest.kaplanit.com/dept.asp?dept%5Fid=1000



I'm proud to be MCSE/MCSA 2000, CCNA, CNA, A+ & MCNGP (lol) the honest
way... now I am working towards my MCSE and MCSA 2k3 and plan to take my
CCNP in the next year as well.

Good luck

--
Sue MCNGP #69
http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help

Skip
Mon Sep 01 15:47:04 CDT 2003

On Mon, 1 Sep 2003 14:50:13 +0100, "billyw" <b@brainless.net> wrote:

>could agree more with the sentiment.
>nice analogy also...
>btw you really need to get your website sorted out.. it's not very good
>
>

You got my curiosity up and I had to take a peek at his site. Outside
of being a bit plain, and featuring mysterious pictures of people
milling about, what is wrong with it?


----------------------------

We contemplate eternity
Beneath the vast indifference of heaven

- Warren Zevon

billyw
Tue Sep 02 05:13:06 CDT 2003

ah, back from your whilrwind book tour


"Laura A. Robinson" <firstinitiallastname@technologist.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.19bdbe8a6c675a6898a8c5@msnews.microsoft.com...
> circa Mon, 1 Sep 2003 14:41:38 +0200, in
> microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Vasili
> (no_spam_christopoulos@wanadoo.nl) said,
> > I want to prepare myself for 70-270 (windows XP) and after studying
> > Microsoft's Training Kit
> >
> > I'd like to buy a study guide with the actual exam questions in order to
> > make sure that I'll pass the exam.
> >
> Why bother taking the exam when you're only going to cheat? What is
> the point?
>
> Laura

Sam
Tue Sep 02 08:01:30 CDT 2003

Welcome back, your posts have definitely been missed!


"Laura A. Robinson" <firstinitiallastname@technologist.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.19bdbe8a6c675a6898a8c5@msnews.microsoft.com...
> circa Mon, 1 Sep 2003 14:41:38 +0200, in
> microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Vasili
> (no_spam_christopoulos@wanadoo.nl) said,
> > I want to prepare myself for 70-270 (windows XP) and after studying
> > Microsoft's Training Kit
> >
> > I'd like to buy a study guide with the actual exam questions in order to
> > make sure that I'll pass the exam.
> >
> Why bother taking the exam when you're only going to cheat? What is
> the point?
>
> Laura

bhileman
Tue Sep 02 10:33:46 CDT 2003

"Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
news:uIqdeRWcDHA.2960@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> > Laura
>
> One post and she's gone like the wind in the night.
>
> tease...

So you're saying that Laura passes wind?

That won't earn you any brownie points.


--
Fris "Musta been that burrito" bee® MCNGP #13

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help

Jtyc
Tue Sep 02 10:40:12 CDT 2003

> So you're saying that Laura passes wind?
> That won't earn you any brownie points.


You sir, are twisting my words. If you are not careful, someone may accuse
you of being a democrat.

Jtyc
Tue Sep 02 10:53:43 CDT 2003

> or a lawyer :)

Isn't that a requirement to be a democrat?

Maestro
Tue Sep 02 17:31:17 CDT 2003

What's worse is that they manage to convince their
constituents that more taxes is the answer. I have a
friend of mine (Democrat) who actually told me that he
didn't mind giving his money to the government.

>-----Original Message-----
>democrats are corrupt and love to tax the rich
>
>"S. O'Brien" <likeIwouldtellyou@inyourdreams.com> wrote
in message
>news:bj307o$bcv$1@nntp-stjh-01-01.rogers.nf.net...
>> I wouldnt know... I'm not american and I can honestly
say I dont really
>know
>> the difference between a republican or democrat
>>
>> --
>> Sue MCNGP #69
>> http://www.mcngp.tk
>> The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
>>
>> "Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
>> news:OYnnjpWcDHA.1280@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
>> > > or a lawyer :)
>> >
>> > Isn't that a requirement to be a democrat?
>> >
>> >
>> >
>>
>>
>
>
>.
>

Laura
Tue Sep 02 21:10:01 CDT 2003

circa Tue, 2 Sep 2003 11:13:06 +0100, in
microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, billyw (b@brainless.net) said,
> ah, back from your whilrwind book tour
>
Actually, I'm back out on tour at the moment. Back to New York on
Thursday, though. Did I mention that I was moving to NYC?

Laura

Laura
Tue Sep 02 21:10:32 CDT 2003

circa Tue, 02 Sep 2003 13:01:30 GMT, in
microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Sam D. (ihatespam4sure@nospam.com)
said,
>
> Welcome back, your posts have definitely been missed!
>
>
>
Aw, shucks, thanks. Just don't call me an animatron! ;-)

Laura

Laura
Tue Sep 02 21:10:42 CDT 2003

circa Tue, 2 Sep 2003 08:10:37 -0700, in
microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Jtyc (yo@respondtothegroup.com)
said,
> > Laura
>
> One post and she's gone like the wind in the night.
>
>
> tease...
>
>
Yup.

Laura
Tue Sep 02 21:12:33 CDT 2003

circa Tue, 2 Sep 2003 11:33:46 -0400, in
microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, =?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=
(bhileman@dasi-software.com) said,
> > One post and she's gone like the wind in the night.
> >
> > tease...
>
> So you're saying that Laura passes wind?
>
> That won't earn you any brownie points.
>
So many possible responses...all of them gross.

Gary
Tue Sep 02 22:32:49 CDT 2003

LAURA! Welcome back celebrity.

--

Semper Fi & God Bless America,

Gary-US MCNGP #20 & retired Jarhead

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
** Kindly Do The Needful **

"Laura A. Robinson" <firstinitiallastname@technologist.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.19bf17a04724fb8d98a8c7@msnews.microsoft.com...
> circa Tue, 02 Sep 2003 13:01:30 GMT, in
> microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Sam D. (ihatespam4sure@nospam.com)
> said,
> >
> > Welcome back, your posts have definitely been missed!
> >
> >
> >
> Aw, shucks, thanks. Just don't call me an animatron! ;-)
>
> Laura

Gary
Tue Sep 02 22:33:27 CDT 2003

What?!

Women don't fart.

At least that is what I have always been told.

--

Semper Fi & God Bless America,

Gary-US MCNGP #20 & retired Jarhead

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
** Kindly Do The Needful **

"Frisbee® MCNGP" <bhileman@dasi-software.com> wrote in message
news:uGPYmeWcDHA.3044@TK2MSFTNGP11.phx.gbl...
> "Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
> news:uIqdeRWcDHA.2960@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> > > Laura
> >
> > One post and she's gone like the wind in the night.
> >
> > tease...
>
> So you're saying that Laura passes wind?
>
> That won't earn you any brownie points.
>
>
> --
> Fris "Musta been that burrito" bee® MCNGP #13
>
> http://www.mcngp.tk
> The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
>

Gary
Tue Sep 02 22:33:54 CDT 2003

Oh hell. Now there is no reason to get THAT damn insulting!!

--

Semper Fi & God Bless America,

Gary-US MCNGP #20 & retired Jarhead

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
** Kindly Do The Needful **

"Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
news:O4OJAiWcDHA.1580@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> > So you're saying that Laura passes wind?
> > That won't earn you any brownie points.
>
>
> You sir, are twisting my words. If you are not careful, someone may
accuse
> you of being a democrat.
>
>
>

Gary
Tue Sep 02 22:34:27 CDT 2003

Right

haha

--

Semper Fi & God Bless America,

Gary-US MCNGP #20 & retired Jarhead

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
** Kindly Do The Needful **

"Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
news:eoKlBXZcDHA.2508@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> > democrats are corrupt and love to tax the rich
>
> Where as Republicans are corrupt and want to tax everyone fairly.
>
>

Gary
Tue Sep 02 22:35:03 CDT 2003

Screw that. I want to keep my money!!

--

Semper Fi & God Bless America,

Gary-US MCNGP #20 & retired Jarhead

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
** Kindly Do The Needful **

"Maestro" <maestro@nothere.com> wrote in message
news:03d001c371a1$ed0e8150$a501280a@phx.gbl...
> What's worse is that they manage to convince their
> constituents that more taxes is the answer. I have a
> friend of mine (Democrat) who actually told me that he
> didn't mind giving his money to the government.
>
> >-----Original Message-----
> >democrats are corrupt and love to tax the rich
> >
> >"S. O'Brien" <likeIwouldtellyou@inyourdreams.com> wrote
> in message
> >news:bj307o$bcv$1@nntp-stjh-01-01.rogers.nf.net...
> >> I wouldnt know... I'm not american and I can honestly
> say I dont really
> >know
> >> the difference between a republican or democrat
> >>
> >> --
> >> Sue MCNGP #69
> >> http://www.mcngp.tk
> >> The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
> >>
> >> "Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
> >> news:OYnnjpWcDHA.1280@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> >> > > or a lawyer :)
> >> >
> >> > Isn't that a requirement to be a democrat?
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
> >.
> >

billyw
Wed Sep 03 09:00:23 CDT 2003

funnily enuff. no u didn't...
actually dont recall where u stay now.. pen?

never been to NYC, been to NJ and NY state but not nyc

"Laura A. Robinson" <firstinitiallastname@technologist.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.19bf17833ba86aca98a8c6@msnews.microsoft.com...
> circa Tue, 2 Sep 2003 11:13:06 +0100, in
> microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, billyw (b@brainless.net) said,
> > ah, back from your whilrwind book tour
> >
> Actually, I'm back out on tour at the moment. Back to New York on
> Thursday, though. Did I mention that I was moving to NYC?
>
> Laura

KLXrider
Wed Sep 03 09:01:05 CDT 2003

On Wed, 03 Sep 2003 03:33:27 GMT, "Gary - US" <gary_kcmo@hotmail.com>
wrote:

>Women don't fart.

or poop....there are just some images I don't want in my head during
sex.


KLXrider, MCNGP #18

billyw
Wed Sep 03 09:01:39 CDT 2003

depends if you feel that the upkeep of the country is worth paying for.

"Maestro" <maestro@nothere.com> wrote in message
news:03d001c371a1$ed0e8150$a501280a@phx.gbl...
> What's worse is that they manage to convince their
> constituents that more taxes is the answer. I have a
> friend of mine (Democrat) who actually told me that he
> didn't mind giving his money to the government.
>
> >-----Original Message-----
> >democrats are corrupt and love to tax the rich
> >
> >"S. O'Brien" <likeIwouldtellyou@inyourdreams.com> wrote
> in message
> >news:bj307o$bcv$1@nntp-stjh-01-01.rogers.nf.net...
> >> I wouldnt know... I'm not american and I can honestly
> say I dont really
> >know
> >> the difference between a republican or democrat
> >>
> >> --
> >> Sue MCNGP #69
> >> http://www.mcngp.tk
> >> The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
> >>
> >> "Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
> >> news:OYnnjpWcDHA.1280@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> >> > > or a lawyer :)
> >> >
> >> > Isn't that a requirement to be a democrat?
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
> >.
> >

billyw
Wed Sep 03 09:01:50 CDT 2003

how very christian of u

"Gary - US" <gary_kcmo@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Hjd5b.31093$hf1.76@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> Screw that. I want to keep my money!!
>
> --
>
> Semper Fi & God Bless America,
>
> Gary-US MCNGP #20 & retired Jarhead
>
> http://www.mcngp.tk
> The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
> ** Kindly Do The Needful **
>
> "Maestro" <maestro@nothere.com> wrote in message
> news:03d001c371a1$ed0e8150$a501280a@phx.gbl...
> > What's worse is that they manage to convince their
> > constituents that more taxes is the answer. I have a
> > friend of mine (Democrat) who actually told me that he
> > didn't mind giving his money to the government.
> >
> > >-----Original Message-----
> > >democrats are corrupt and love to tax the rich
> > >
> > >"S. O'Brien" <likeIwouldtellyou@inyourdreams.com> wrote
> > in message
> > >news:bj307o$bcv$1@nntp-stjh-01-01.rogers.nf.net...
> > >> I wouldnt know... I'm not american and I can honestly
> > say I dont really
> > >know
> > >> the difference between a republican or democrat
> > >>
> > >> --
> > >> Sue MCNGP #69
> > >> http://www.mcngp.tk
> > >> The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
> > >>
> > >> "Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
> > >> news:OYnnjpWcDHA.1280@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> > >> > > or a lawyer :)
> > >> >
> > >> > Isn't that a requirement to be a democrat?
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >>
> > >>
> > >
> > >
> > >.
> > >
>
>

Consultant
Wed Sep 03 09:10:11 CDT 2003

see, they are all wacky


"Maestro" <maestro@nothere.com> wrote in message
news:03d001c371a1$ed0e8150$a501280a@phx.gbl...
> What's worse is that they manage to convince their
> constituents that more taxes is the answer. I have a
> friend of mine (Democrat) who actually told me that he
> didn't mind giving his money to the government.
>
> >-----Original Message-----
> >democrats are corrupt and love to tax the rich
> >
> >"S. O'Brien" <likeIwouldtellyou@inyourdreams.com> wrote
> in message
> >news:bj307o$bcv$1@nntp-stjh-01-01.rogers.nf.net...
> >> I wouldnt know... I'm not american and I can honestly
> say I dont really
> >know
> >> the difference between a republican or democrat
> >>
> >> --
> >> Sue MCNGP #69
> >> http://www.mcngp.tk
> >> The MCNGP Team - We're here to help
> >>
> >> "Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
> >> news:OYnnjpWcDHA.1280@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> >> > > or a lawyer :)
> >> >
> >> > Isn't that a requirement to be a democrat?
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
> >.
> >

Consultant
Wed Sep 03 09:11:34 CDT 2003

you dont want to think about your lady pinching one off? grunting, farting,
plopping, then the sexiest part..... wiping


"KLXrider" <nojunk@email.com> wrote in message
news:50tblv0j9h4hn939qf67s72933qcpn5ee1@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 03 Sep 2003 03:33:27 GMT, "Gary - US" <gary_kcmo@hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Women don't fart.
>
> or poop....there are just some images I don't want in my head during
> sex.
>
>
> KLXrider, MCNGP #18

Jtyc
Wed Sep 03 09:13:08 CDT 2003

> depends if you feel that the upkeep of the country is worth paying for.

The problem is, the government is not very good at handling money. If you
give them more, they'll simply piss more money away.

Consultant
Wed Sep 03 09:39:16 CDT 2003

yeah, neither does my wife

"KLXrider" <nojunk@email.com> wrote in message
news:siublv4bkbm7fg1pqcmj8uf6rrsh9mpu49@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 3 Sep 2003 07:11:34 -0700, "Consultant"
> <consultant_mcngp@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> >you dont want to think about your lady pinching one off?
>
> she doesn't do I tell you.
>
> KLXrider, MCNGP #18

bhileman
Wed Sep 03 09:45:32 CDT 2003

"Consultant" <consultant_mcngp@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:OxF3mkicDHA.3080@TK2MSFTNGP11.phx.gbl...
> "KLXrider" <nojunk@email.com> wrote in message
> news:siublv4bkbm7fg1pqcmj8uf6rrsh9mpu49@4ax.com...
> > On Wed, 3 Sep 2003 07:11:34 -0700, "Consultant"
> > <consultant_mcngp@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >
> > >you dont want to think about your lady pinching one off?
> >
> > she doesn't do I tell you.
> >
> yeah, neither does my wife

Mine is a regular stealth farter. She used to blame it on the dog, so I got
rid of the dog.

Now she blames it on the kids.

--
Fris "Burritos again?" bee® MCNGP #13

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help

billyw
Wed Sep 03 09:56:12 CDT 2003

i know...
gov are all *unts but i dont mind paying taxes to aid others..
"taxi!"
"take this man to the hospital"

"Jtyc" <yo@respondtothegroup.com> wrote in message
news:%23AFhAWicDHA.748@TK2MSFTNGP10.phx.gbl...
> > depends if you feel that the upkeep of the country is worth paying for.
>
> The problem is, the government is not very good at handling money. If you
> give them more, they'll simply piss more money away.
>
>

billyw
Wed Sep 03 09:54:56 CDT 2003

christy brinkley. mmmmmmm shame she was blond

"KLXrider" <nojunk@email.com> wrote in message
news:1usblv4f3k6v54tclbfn6me7guadekr038@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 2 Sep 2003 22:10:01 -0400, "Laura A. Robinson"
> <firstinitiallastname@technologist.com> wrote:
>
> >Did I mention that I was moving to NYC?
>
> Uptown girl....
>
> KLXrider, MCNGP #18

Jtyc
Wed Sep 03 10:05:44 CDT 2003

> i know...
> gov are all *unts but i dont mind paying taxes to aid others..
> "taxi!"

You are a real pessimist if you think that it takes 50% taxes just to keep
ambulances running. Look, California (god I hate this state) has a budget
of over 100 billion dollars. It doesn't have any more employees than say
IBM or Microsoft. Wtf do they need more money for? They need to UNFUCK
themselves. Trust me on this, I see it every damn day. These people HAVE
NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE DOING. And giving them more money is not
going to make it better.

Consultant
Wed Sep 03 11:02:52 CDT 2003

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back
in our cubicles (or offices) and suddenly felt something brewing down below.
As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is
inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival
Guide for taking a dump at work.


CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk briskly around the office so
the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but
doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop
until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure
the smell has left your pants.


FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and
check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come
back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become
suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.


ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of
embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it
did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal,
pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable
for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.


JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine
gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this
should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the
bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.


COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop
hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up
the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.


WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after
you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment
if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that
the smell does not exist...... can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY
FLUSH.


OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is darn
proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the
bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look
around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the
bathroom.


SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where
you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the
opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the
bathroom.


TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall
and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and
vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this
occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will
avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.


CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the
bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON,
or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction
with an ASTAIRE.


ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the
stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so
the pooper can poop in peace.


WATERMELON: A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon
coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.


HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud
splashes in the toilet water..... often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using
Camo-Cough with an Astaire.


UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could
spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot.
An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should
always wait to poop when the bathroom