Buzzzzzzzz! went my doorbell this morning. I stumbled down stairs to answer
the door still weary from a late night drinking session. Our posty, a
female, gave me a wink and handed over the post. This seemed a little
unusual, but I thought no more of it until I saw a little hand written note
with a number and 'call me' written on it. Dumbfounded I started to go
through my post, bills, more bills, junk mail and wait, "what's this" I said
aloud. A slim A4 box with the beautifully inscribed Microsoft logo. I felt
my heart rate increase slightly and my cheeks blush a little. I gently slid
my fingers through the seal and the box opened. I thought I detected a
slight scented aroma playing in the air and an almost imperceptible scream
in the distance. My mind raced to decipher the sound and an image of a
screaming throng sprung to mind.
And then there it was, my lapel pin. I gently picked it up and held it aloft
to admire it's beauty. As the morning sunshine came through the window the
light danced off the highly polished surface. I pinned it on my chest and
turned to my wife and children who'd just joined me. My wife looked at me
in a way that she hadn't since the honeymoon night. My son asked if he
could touch it, but I of course said 'No son, only a man can wear this' and
strangely for the first time he just accepted this and looked on as though
in awe.
I decided that I would go for a little stroll around the town to show off my
trophy. I dressed smartly wearing my brightest cardigan and my genuine
leather sandals. I walked to the shed got my bicycle, tucked my trousers
into my socks, clipped up my helmet and cycled off to town. I looked down
to gaze at my pin, but it wasn't there, I stopped, panic stricken and
deflated. But no, it was there still firmly affixed where I had placed it.
I felt a little guilty, as if Microsoft would ever supply a pin that wasn't
crafted from quality materials and would fall so easily. I went to mount my
cycle once more and noticed a group of young ladies gathered around me. I
smiled a sheepish grin and they giggled. On of them stepped forward and
asked for my autograph. I agreed quickly and asked where she would like me
to sign. She slowly clasped the hem of her blouse and began to raise it up.
She looked at me intently and I felt a small bead of sweat trickle down my
forehead. I leapt to my saddle and raced down the lane back towards home.
I arrived home and carefully but quickly wiped down my bicycle before
locking it securely. I then slipped indoors checking the coast was clear
first. I removed my pin, placed it into a brown envelope, sealed it and
wrote in large letters 'not to be worn when dressed up'
As a result of this day I am reconsidering whether to risk going for an
MCSE, be warned!