script creation of network calendar event
I've just re-discovered this fine news server while researching a very
irritating problem. I'm hoping that my findings on this issue can help a few
others out. in exchange I'm looking for a little AppleScript assistance.
_ the story _
on our Exchange calendar, Owners were being locked out of editing anything
posted by the other Owners. we worked around it for a couple of weeks, but
then I was locked out of my own posts -- no event updates allowed!
I dumped my cache and resync'd a few times, playing around with things each
time. after reading the article linked below*, I was led to settings that
were causing the server to view events as user-specific. in our case, it was
two options turned on by default: reminders and busy status. by turning
these settings off, suddenly all was well for everyone.
*<http://blogs.msdn.com/entourage/archive/2005/09/21/472436.aspx>
_ the script _
to make this work-around doable for all posting members, my goal is to use
AS to take a few steps out of the process.
here's the idea: the user will go to the calendar in question (myCal),
select the day, and select the script from the script menu. the script will
bring up the dialog for a new untitled event on myCal with the reminder
turned off (regardless of the user's local preference), and busy status set
to Free. I believe everything else can use the default settings.
I have basic AS experience, but not with any MS apps (other than brief
exposure to Word). can anyone get me started?
we're working with Entourage 2004 11.2.5 (060620) on an Exchange Server for
which I have no information -- the corp IT department is notoriously
unhelpful toward our Mac-centric department. I'm on Panther (10.3.9) and
most other users are on Tiger.
if you've read this far, thanks!
_ DA Holman _ Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73155
Default email address is inconsistent
I have three email accounts set up on Entourage, and I've set the
personal account to be the default. It works fine if I start a new
message: the pull-down list in the From field is set to that email
address automatically.
The problem comes in whenever I reply to a message. The From field then
defaults to my work address (the last on the list) rather than my
personal one (the first), even when the original message was sent to my
personal address!
Shouldn't there be a way to default to whatever address the email was
sent to?
I should add that I'm having my personal email forwarded from my Yahoo
account (to my work domain and then) to an IMAP account. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73153
Microsoft Entourage not opening.
Hi,
I am having the problem with entourage and word application th
following error shows " Microsoft Entourage has encountered a proble
and needs to closed. We are sorry for the inconvenience.
I am using G5 @1.8 ghz the Os 10.4.8.
//Ra
--
rajappl
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
rajapple's Profile: http://www.officehelp.in/member.php?userid=589
View this thread: http://www.officehelp.in/showthread.php?t=131577
Posted from - http://www.officehelp.i Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73152
Changed OWA access and Entourage is not working
In my company re-booted Exchange server and changed OWA log-in.
Before re-boot OWA log-in was
user-name (example: tony)
pass
after re-boot OWA log-in is
user-name@domain.si (example tony@poteza.si)
pass
and after that @poteza.si was added to log-in to OWA my entourage
settings stopped to work. I got messages as -18500 or -18599.
I think the problem lies there since Entourage uses webDAV.
Any help?
Matej Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73147
Scheduling in Entourage
I am using Entourage as a client on my Microsoft Exhange Server. When
I create a calendar item and try to invite other users, the scheduling
function does not work. I cannot see any of my scheduled items, or the
invited users' free or busy times. The calendar jsut shows gray for
them and for me . . and the legend indicates that this means "no
information"
The information I find about Entourage indicates that the scheduling
function is supposed to work. Has anyone solved this issue?
Thanks. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73146
How to empty the junk mail folder
As it stands, it looks like Entourage flags junk messages, changes
their color, and puts some sort of symbolic link to them in the Junk
folder on the (IMAP) server. They still appear in the inbox, albeit
grayed out a bit. Unfortunately, I can't find any way to actually
ERASE these junk mails, other than creating a rule that runs every X
days or whatever.
Apple Mail seems to handle this a lot more intelligently. It MOVES the
messages to the Junk folder, so you don't have to keep looking at them
in your inbox, and provides an Erase Junk Mail command that cleans out
the Junk Box after you have suitably scanned it for false positives.
Does anyone know whether it is possible to get this kind of behavior in
Entourage (messages not visible in inbox, erase them on command, not
with a timed rule)? My wife uses Entourage and doesn't want to switch
to Apple Mail, so I need to get this sorted out for her.
Thanks
JEH Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73144
Entourage Mail Sync with Blackberry problem
I use MS Office for Mac in a Windows network environment. Entourage is
my email client on the Exchange Server. I use it for contacts,
calendar and email. We also use a Blackberry Enterprise Server (BES)
to wirelessly sync all of the foregoing info to blackberries. Since my
conversion at the office to the Mac, all blackberry synchronization has
worked perfectly, with one exception. Calendar and Contacts sync both
directions, meaning that creating or deleting a contact or calendar
item in Entourage is synchronized wirelessly to the blackberry, and the
creation or deletion of a contact or calendar item on the blackberry is
synchronized back to the Entourage.
Entourage Mail presents the problem. The creation or deletion of a
mail item on the blackberry is synchronized to Entourage, BUT the
creation or deletion of a mail item in Entourage IS NOT synchronized to
the blackberry. I don't believe Exchange or BES are the problem,
because if I connect to my email via Outlook Web Access and create or
delete an email there, IT IS synchronized to the blackberry. This
leaves Entourage as the only culprit.
Entourage is fully updated to the current version 11.3.3
If you have any information, please help.
Thanks. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73143
Synching a phone with entourage?
Does anyone know if there are any phones for Verizon that can synch with
Entouage? Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73142
Entourage 2004: Strategy to Backup/Archive Mail with Local Folders?
Hi,
Like many, I need to begin cleaning-up and clearing out old emails and
with attachments.
I use several POP3 accounts and a Hotmail (IMAP) account. After
receiving new emails, they are moved into Local Folders (some with
subfolders) under "Folders on My Computer" with the exception of one
Local Folder in my Hotmail account. In the past, when I've
archived/restored--the Local Folders structure was destroyed.
My objective is to archive all Local Folders with their associated
emails and sub folders. And, I would like to preserve the Local Folder
structure, dump the resulting archive to external media (CDs), and
restore if/when needed. The restore would result in the Local
Folder(s) being restored with all associated content and email
integrity maintained. Also, I would like to archive previous years
Sent Mails, too.
Can anyone provide some successful strategies and/or software that can
help?
Thanks,
John Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73140
Signature problems...getting old signatures to go away.
I've set up signatures for an office. They are .jpgs that get included
at the bottom of each reply. The problem is, as the office staff
replies over and over again, they notice five or ten attachments piling
up. These are, of course, the signatures getting sent over and over
again and appearing several times in the email.
I'm trying to figure out:
1) How to AUTOMATICALLY erase previous signatures and only insert the
jpg once each reply.
2) Automatically move the single signature up to the newest reply.
3) Do this for a group that really doesn't understand computing/doesn't
have time to do it manually.
Certainly, I don't care if there is only one logo (signature) that
shows up. I just want it to be at the end of the most recent reply. I'd
tell them to just delete the attachments to fix this, but honestly, I
don't think they'll "get it."
Any help is appreciated. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73138
Signatures, multiple files, replies, over and over
I've set up signatures for an office. They are .jpgs that get included
at the bottom of each reply. The problem is, as the office staff
replies over and over again, they notice five or ten attachments piling
up. These are, of course, the signatures getting sent over and over
again and appearing several times in the email.
I'm trying to figure out:
1) How to AUTOMATICALLY erase previous signatures and only insert the
jpg once each reply.
2) Automatically move the single signature up to the newest reply.
3) Do this for a group that really doesn't understand computing/doesn't
have time to do it manually.
Certainly, I don't care if there is only one logo (signature) that
shows up. I just want it to be at the end of the most recent reply. I'd
tell them to just delete the attachments to fix this, but honestly, I
don't think they'll "get it."
Any help is appreciated. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73137
Automatic Email Stationary WITH attachments
> This message is in MIME format. Since your mail reader does not understand
this format, some or all of this message may not be legible.
--B_3251225654_611777
Content-type: text/plain;
charset="US-ASCII"
Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit
Hi,
I was wondering if there was a way to have stationary have a document
automatically attached.
When I get an estimate appointment for my work, I send an email
with the confirmation of the time and day written in stationary. Then
I have five documents PDFs.
I would like to automatic the attachment of these PDFs.
Is it possible?
John
Los Angeles, CA
--B_3251225654_611777
Content-type: text/html;
charset="US-ASCII"
Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable
<HTML>
<HEAD>
<TITLE>Automatic Email Stationary WITH attachments</TITLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY>
<FONT FACE=3D"Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><SPAN STYLE=3D'font-size:12.0px'>Hi,<B=
R>
<BR>
I was wondering if there was a way to have stationary have a document<BR>
automatically attached.<BR>
<BR>
When I get an estimate appointment for my work, I send an email<BR>
with the confirmation of the time and day written in stationary. Then<BR>
I have five documents PDFs.<BR>
<BR>
I would like to automatic the attachment of these PDFs.<BR>
<BR>
Is it possible?<BR>
<BR>
John<BR>
Los Angeles, CA</SPAN></FONT>
</BODY>
</HTML>
--B_3251225654_611777-- Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73132
dot mac and erage database
> This message is in MIME format. Since your mail reader does not understand
this format, some or all of this message may not be legible.
--B_3251224274_529879
Content-type: text/plain;
charset="ISO-8859-1"
Content-transfer-encoding: 8bit
Hi,
A buddy of mine said he read an article that you could put an erage database
on Dot mac and basically share it over the net like an Exchange.
Is this possible?
I¹m looking to share the database across five computers in different
locations.
Thank you,
John
Los Angeles
Powerbook & iMac G5
Mac OS X 10.4.8
Office Mac 11.2.5
--B_3251224274_529879
Content-type: text/html;
charset="ISO-8859-1"
Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable
<HTML>
<HEAD>
<TITLE>dot mac and erage database</TITLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY>
<FONT FACE=3D"Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><SPAN STYLE=3D'font-size:12.0px'>Hi,<B=
R>
<BR>
A buddy of mine said he read an article that you could put an erage databas=
e<BR>
on Dot mac and basically share it over the net like an Exchange.<BR>
<BR>
Is this possible?<BR>
<BR>
I’m looking to share the database across five computers in different =
locations.<BR>
<BR>
Thank you,<BR>
<BR>
John<BR>
Los Angeles<BR>
<BR>
Powerbook & iMac G5<BR>
Mac OS X 10.4.8<BR>
Office Mac 11.2.5</SPAN></FONT>
</BODY>
</HTML>
--B_3251224274_529879-- Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73130
Moving Calendar Events
In the Week View generally I can move Events to different times or day by
dragging it. However, sometimes the Event can not be moved, in that upon
release it bounces back to the original time and/or date. I do not share my
calendar. I do sync it with my Palm using Missing Sync. I can find no
patterns as to conditions that lock the Event (I can move it by opening the
Event and changing the time or date.)
Any suggestions... Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73129
Calendar help...
I am new to mac...
How do I print a two page column calendar from entourage...I can do it
from my old PC... Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73124
Error 3260 - please help
Hello,
I am facing this problem for more than 3 days so I will be happy for
any comment/ideas.
I am using Microsoft Entourage 2004 (version 11.3.2 build 061213) and
Mac OS X 10.4.8. On the server side is Microsoft Exchange 2003
(6.0.3790.1830). Problem is with Global Address List (GAL). E-mails I
can send and receive without problem. I tried access to GAL via
Microsoft Outlook 2007 (12.0.4518.1014) from my PC and it works without
problem. Our GAL is accessible only from inside so I have to be
connected via VPN. When I am trying to to type anything inside SEARCH
filed I always got following error:
Entourage cannot connect to the server. Verify that your computer is
connected to the network. Error -3260
Unfortunately I tried ping to that server and it response in 40 ms
delay. I tried telnet on ports 25, 80, 110 and 389, everything was
successfully connected. I tried Outlook Web Access including searching
in GAL at everything works (via Safari web browser). I have also remote
access via Terminal Services to the Exchange server so I double check
that Exchange server is running.
Anyone can please help me what's going on in this case with Microsoft
Entourage?
Thanks for help in advance Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73119
All Day Events - 1 day off...
All,
I'm seeing some strange behavior for all day events when viewing the same
calendar (hosted on an exchange server) from Outlook and from Entourage.
Case 1: Create all day event in Outlook - when viewed in Entourage it is
displayed 1 day early
Case 2; Create all day event in Entourage - when viewed in Outlook all is
good.
Case 3: Edit event created in case on in Entourage - put it in the day you
want it to show up (move forward by one day). When viewing event in
Outlook - it is now a 2 day event starting on the day you want it to be on -
but ending on the next day. (the all day event check mark is now unchecked -
in outlook)
Case 4: Fix it on Outlook (make it an all day event for the day you want it
to be) and woops - it's back to one day early in Entourage...
Work around - all day events MUST be created and edited from Entourage...
Why?
-MM
Mark Montañez
Mark.Montanez@gmail.com Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73107
Sent Mail Sync Issue
I use Entourage (fully updated to version 11.3.3 and connect to an
Exchange Server. We also use a Blackberry Enterprise Server, and all
my email, contacts and calendar items are wirelessly synchronized to
the blackberry. I have tested the synchronization, and it happens
perfectly, both directions - meaning that if I create or delete a
calendar entry on the blackberry, then it synchronizes to Entourage;
likewise, if I create or delete a calendar entry in Entourage, then it
synchronizes to teh blackberry; the same is true with contacts. My
only issue is with Entourage Mail. Items sent on the blackberry sync
to the sent folder in Entourage, BUT items sent from Entourage DO NOT
sync to the blackberry. If I access my email through Outlook Web
Access and send an email, that DOES sync to the blackberry - meaning
that Entourage is the factor causing the failure to sync sent mail.
Has anyone else experienced this? Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73105
Office 2008 for Mac press release
"Microsoft® Office 2008 for Mac" and it's coming in the second half of
2007. Read the Press Release:
<http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/press/2007/jan07/01-09MacworldPR.mspx> Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73103
Office 2004 11.3.3 update NEW!!!
Update for Office 2004 only.
Time Zone bug is fixed!!! Exchange users need to read warning before
installing. This update includes all of the improvements released in all
previous Office 2004 updates.
Quit any applications that are running, including virus-protection
applications, all Office applications, Microsoft Messenger for Mac, and
Office Notifications, because they might interfere with installation.
This update does not include an uninstall feature. If you are concerned that
this update could be problematic, duplicate your Office 2004 folder and
stuff it. This way you could revert to the previous build if there are
problems.
<http://www.microsoft.com/mac/downloads.aspx?pid=download&location=/mac/down
load/Office2004/Office2004_1133.xml&secid=4&ssid=32&flgnosysreq=True>
--
Diane Ross, Microsoft Mac MVP
Entourage Help Page
<http://www.entourage.mvps.org/>
The Entourage Blog lists the EHP as one of the top five Microsoft Entourage
resources.
<http://blogs.msdn.com/entourage/> Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73101
DST Bug Squashed
Office update 11.3.3 has just been released, including (amongst other
security and stability fixes) a cure for the DST change that affects
calendar events in March for some USA users.
It's a combo-updater, so weighs in at a massive 57mb!
Get It through 'check for updates' under the Help menu of any office
application.
--
Barry Wainwright
Microsoft MVP (see http://mvp.support.microsoft.com for details)
The Entourage User's WebLog has moved!
For hints, tips and troubleshooting go to <http://www.barryw.net/weblog/> Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73099
Announcements from MacWorld
Microsoft made a press release disclosing the name of the next version of
office and when it is due...
<http://www.barryw.net/weblog/>
--
Barry Wainwright
Microsoft MVP (see http://mvp.support.microsoft.com for details)
The Entourage User's WebLog has moved!
For hints, tips and troubleshooting go to <http://www.barryw.net/weblog/> Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73098
Moving from Apple Mail to Entourage
Hello, Is it possible to remove the "Folder On My Computer" I have set
up an Exchange account and would like to get rid of the inbuilt folder
above. Also, comparing Apple's Address Book to Entourage; one of our
users has commented that the Address Book seems to hold more
information per individual than Entourage; is this true? Plus, are you
able to sync Apple's Address Book with a Blackberry whilst syncing
Entourage's Address Book, or is it one or the other? Many thanks for
any help on these questions. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73089
Help! Lost Calendar icon!
In Calendar in Entourage 2004, a small icon used to appear on the left
of an event window if text was
entered in the main window of the event page, just as a bell appears if
you have set a reminder for an event. All these icons have disappeared
from my Calendar, and now it is impossible to see which calendar events
have text written in their main window without opening them. Can anyone
please help in suggesting a way to get these icons to reapperar? thanks. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73088
Second email on entourage
This still doesn't work. I have checked and re checked the setting betwwen
the dominent account and the next account and the second is either the same
ad or mimics the first.
Earthlink has no idea why, except that perhaps my name and address are not
properly recorded with entourage itself.
Do you have any ideas.
This is a serious problem because the second email is used by clients and I
cannot get their messages.
Becky Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73081
one click to see inbox messgaes?
I use to be able to see my inbox messages by just clicking on the
message. Now I need to double click on them to open the message.
What did I do to change the one click view?
Thanks Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73080
I'd like to print all received messages!
Someone sends me an e mail with five jpegs.Sometimes I hit command P and all
5 print. Others times just one comes out. What is the trick to get all of
them printing consistently?
I have print pictures checked.
Kevs
OS 10.4.7
Office 2004 Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73078
Need to sync address book with entourage
I have been using the address book for awhile and all my updated
contacts are in it. Just added Entourage -- how do I get the contacts
from the address book to Entourage? Sorry if this is a silly question
:( I searched and it seems like everyone is doing the opposite so
thought I would just post. Thanks! Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73077
Incoming mail goes to Deleted folder
REcently I had to raise the level in Entourage of my spam filter to get
rid of the darn stuff. Unfortunately, every incoming email, except for
the ones that asked if I wanted to create a rule for their domain, now
ends up in the deleted folder. THe same holds true for all my reply
email. I ahve now removed the spam filter protocol from Entourage but
the problem persists. Has this happened to anyone else? Solutions?
I'm wasting more time now dragging emails from deleted to inbox than I
did before the filter protocols were altered. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73073
How to script Entouage Setup (MS Exchange 2003)
We are going to be switching over from a standard POP3 email service to
an MS Exchange 2003 service and most of all our users are on Mac's
using Entourage 2004.
I was hoping to write a custom script that I could push out (or give
the the desktop support staff) that would create a new mail account
entry with the Entourage client with all the server settings.
Any ideas? Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73068
Lost Entourage updates after crash
I have a Mac G4 powerbook running OS 10.4.8 I have Entourage (10.3.2)
and Word (11.3) installed from Office 2004.
The problem: my computer crashed recently and Apple installed a new
logic board. Everything works fine as before the crash EXCEPT my
Entourage which seems to have lost some updates. The key function I'm
missing--and it's a great one--is the ability to have emails come up in
my Spotlight searches. I have tried to go online to get updates but
they won't install, which makes me think I need some earlier updates to
enable the one that enables the Spotlight searches. Or...maybe the
updates are in my computer somewhere but are not working (???). Anyone
have any ideas on this? Thanks. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73067
create task from contact
There is a clever script that quickly allows you to create a task from
a message. While I realize I could select the contact, hold on teh
link icon, select "link to new," and select task; this does not make
the category and project the same, nor does it automatically put in a
title to the task (ideally name and phone number).
is there a library of these things or do I need to teach myself the
script language? Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73066
Start-up disc is full
When trying to rebuild my email I got the message that my "start up disc is
full"
What does this mean?
I keep trying to delete old emails and they pop up again in my email list.
How do I delete them permanently?
Thanks, Becky Richardson Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73063
Exchange Pop and 11.3.2
I use 10.4.8 and PPC G5 and Office 2004. I had not updated Office for
a while, but did recenty use 11.3.0 and 11.3.2. Now I find I cannot
access either POP or Exchange emails.
I can send from both POP and Exchange accounts within Entourage, but I
cannot receive anything.
For the POP account it tries to 'connect to pop.mail.yahoo.co.uk' for a
while then I get get this message - 'An operation on the server timed
out. The server may be down, overloaded, or there may be too much net
traffic'.
For the Exchange account it just stays unconnected.
I tried re-installing the original version of Entourage, but then I
couldn't open my identity (new format I guess after update) and I
cannot afford to lose all my information.
Help please! I am desperately dependent on my old email database....
thanks in advance
Nick Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73060
Entourage attachments and an IMAP server
I am unable to open attachments now that I am receiving my email on an
IMAP server. The same attachments can be opened if I email to an
account using a POP server. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73059
Dragging from Entourage Task list to Calendar?
Ok, here is a simple question. Can you drag a task from the task list
in Entourage over to a day on the calendar? Is that possible? Let me
know, all you techies. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73054
Dragging from Entourage Task list to Calendar?
Ok, here is a simple question. Can you drag a task from the task list
in Entourage over to a day on the calendar? Is that possible? Let me
know, all you techies. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73053
finding new contacts since a certain date
Does entourage have a way to find contacts that have been entered since
a certain date? Or a way to sort them by date entered. There is a date
modified field, so I can get a list of contacts that have been changed
(which does include new ones), however I can not find a way to tease
out the new ones. I'd like to do this periodically, so I can add them
to my gmail white list.
-dave Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73047
Calendar events lost icon!
Within the Calendar in Entourage 2004, a small icon used to appear next
to a Calendar event (on the left of the event window) if text was
entered in the main window of the event page, just as a bell appears if
you have set a reminder for an event. All these icons have disappeared
from my Calendar, and now it is impossible to see which calendar events
have text written in their main window without opening them. Can anyone
please help in suggesting a way to get these icons to reapperar? thanks. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73045
Entourage X not transfering all my emails from a G4 to macpro intel dual core
I just bought a new MacPro 2.33 G and transfered all my info from the
old G4. Entourage did not transfer all my emails and I am having
problems retrieving e-mail from my different accounts. It did not
transfer my addresses either.
How is Office x behaiving with the Mac Pros. I do not want to buy the
new Office since I already have the x. Can I just buy an upgrade? Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73044
Automatically Populates Person To Send Email To
Hi - I'm trying to personalize a group email. I have a group. I am an email.
I'd like to begin the email with a personalized salutation (Dear Bob or
Sally or whatever) but can't seem to figure out how to do that.
Any suggestions on how I can do this?
I'm currently working in Entourage (obviously), but am open to other
options/systems - just would like to try to accomplish my goal, above.
Thanks,
SueAnn Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73039
MI5 Persecution: Dirk Gently on the Toronto Case
Dirk was on the West Coast when he got the call. An old
friend at the Toronto police department thought he would like
to fly up and take a look at a homicide which had occurred
the previous evening. He decided to skip the last day at the
World Holistics conference and take the next plane out of
San Francisco.
The flight was bad; Dirk had been hit on the back of the head
by the Newspaper trolley, the drinks trolley, the dinner trolley
and now the gift trolley. When the hostesses weren?t trying to
tear his arm off they pestered him to stop leaning into the aisle
- ignoring the fact that the guy next to him was taking up one and
a half seats. Air Canada used to be the flight which was so
good you just didn?t wanna get off - on this occasion Dirk
would be glad to see the back of the plane and the over sized
alternative comedian wedged into the window seat.
After breathing in a couple of lungfulls of crisp Canadian air
Dirk took a taxi into town. There was a small group of
demonstrators outside the MacDonalds and the taxi driver
insisted on stopping on the opposite side of the street. ?Don?t
Eat Meat? the placards read and the demonstrators chanted. A
couple of policemen where stopping the crowd entering the
restaurant itself - one held up his arm and challenged Dirk. A
wave of the fax he had been sent and the policeman pushed
open the door.
There were few customers in the restaurant. Not surprising
really with a demonstration going on outside, half the dining
area roped off with tape and a dead body seated at one of the
tables. ?Mr Gently sir? the officer in charge called out as he
peeled one end of the tape off a column ?We were told not to
touch anything til? you got here?.
The body of the man slumped awkwardly in a chair. Then
even a dead body would start getting uncomfortable in a
MacDonalds chair after twenty minutes - and this one had
been there for at least eighteen hours. Two back legs and the
tail of a cat hung out of the man?s gaping mouth. Dirk turned
to the officer, ?I suppose you are going to tell me this is the
darndest thing you ever saw??
?Ain?t this the darnd...?. The officer seemed annoyed that Dirk
had second guessed him. ?We?re removing the body in a few
minutes, so if you can get through as quick as possible?
?Many people eat cats in fast food restaurants?? Dirk asked
and without waiting for an answer leant over the table to pick
up an untouched burger. ?And what?s this?? he asked waving
it in front of the officers face.
?It?s a Vedgie Burger? The waitress, who was cleaning one of
the adjacent tables, shouted across. She walked over to Dirk.
?We started doing them because of that lot out there? she
nodded towards the protesters who were pressing there faces
against the windows ?They?re called Linda McCartney Vedgie
burgers - ever heard of them??
Dirk suddenly felt faint, perhaps a combination of hunger and
jet lag. ?This is deja vu all over again? he thought to himself.
He glanced at policemen - at the badge on his shoulder ?OPD?
but this wasn?t Ontario this was Toronto. OPD - Officially
Pronounced Dead. It dawned on Dirk what was happening, he
knew what he would see if he looked out of the window. Sure
enough, there it was, the Volkswagen Beetle parked across
the road - number plate 28IF - 28 IF Paul McCartney had
lived. And amongst the lyrics of the song blaring out into the
restaurant he could pick out the words ?I buried Paul?. Now it
was though Dirk was viewing the whole scene though a TV
screen. This was conspiracy. Not -a- conspiracy, or -the-
conspiracy, but just plain conspiracy.
?You look faint - are you OK mister? The waitress asked.
Dirk shook his head ?Probably a bit hungry? Then to
economise on dialogue took out a pack of cigarettes and held
it out towards the girl. She was about to take one but Dirk
snatched the pack away, held it up to his mouth and drew out
two cigarettes. He lit both then passed one of them to the girl.
It was the closest he had come to a sexual encounter in three
months.
?Want a Burger?? the waitress asked.
Dirk looked down at the Vedgie Burger on the table. ?No
thanks - just a plate of fries?
The waitress walked away and Dirk looked around the room.
Apart from a family seated in the far corner there was only
one other person in the restaurant - and he wasn?t eating. The
guy was about mid twenties and had straggling, shoulder
length hair. On the table in front of him were lots of pieces of
paper cut into squares. Every so often he would pick up a
camcorder and pan it around the room and then, when he was
finished, speak into a microphone which was attached to a
tape recorder. Dirk walked over to where the man was sitting.
The small pieces of paper had paragraphs of text written on
them and were stuck to the top of table with blobs of mustard.
Lines had been drawn, some solid some dotted, on the table
top with a marker pen. The lines ran from one piece of paper
to another.
?What are the lines for?? Dirk asked, realising straight away
that ?What the hell are you doing?? would be more
appropriate.
?You see? The man replied nervously ?The dotted lines are
weak links and the solid lines are strong links. The dotted
lines are things which are happening in the rest of the world
and the solid lines are things which are happening to me. Now
you see I draw over a dotted line, replacing it with a solid line,
when I can link something back to me. Like this? The pen
squeaked over the Formica and before Dirk could interrupt
the man added. ?You see I lost my short term memory and, as
a consequence have a very short attention span. I write down,
record and film everything then put it all together later?
?So? Dirk interrupted. ?You filmed what happened here??
?Yes, yes, it?s here on this tape? The man pushed the cassette
across the table. On the label the words ?Grassy Knoll? had
been crossed through and replaced with ?MacDonalds?.
Suddenly the man sprung from his seat. Dirk turned and saw
that the body was being removed on a stretcher. As it passed
the man picked a small object off the edge of the stretcher
itself. ?This is important? he said, laying a blood stained bullet
on one of the small pieces of paper on the table.
Suddenly the room was filled with a deafening throbbing
sound as a Black Helicopter landed in the street outside. Two
men in United Nations uniforms got out and collected the
stretcher. Back at the table the long haired man was replacing
all the dotted lines with solid ones. Dirk panicked and began
to walk backwards at some speed. Barging through the swing
doors he stumbled into the kitchen, tripped and felt himself
sink slowly into a large vat.
?The guys fallen into the batter? Dick heard someone shout
before he sunk below the surface. He came to sitting in a chair
with the batter solidifying all over his body. He surveyed the
room through two eye-holes someone had cut. Suddenly the
chair on which he was sitting was picked up carried through
the restaurant and out of the building. As the chair was being
lifted and put into the back of a van, Dirk caught a glimpse of
the waitress following him. ?Your fries mister, your
plate o...?.
The doors of the van shut and Dirk tried desperately to steady
himself as it sped across town. Eventually the doors flew open
and Dirk was flung into the road at which point the solidified
batter shattered and set him free. Standing up he found
himself outside the international departures terminal of
Toronto airport.
In the departure lounge Dirk had time to reflect on the day?s
events. He had got caught up in the conspiracy theories and
the haphazard welding together of pieces of irrelevant
information. It was time to catch the person who was
operating the bizarre cognitive engine which appeared in
front of him like a fairground mirror, distorting any flaw it
could find in his own, fragile, map of the real world.
Dirk leant into the aisle of the plane as it took off for London.
The oversized person next to him swung his arms violently as
he complained about every thing from the supper in a plastic
tray to the state of British politics. With a shaven head and a
badly fitting suit the man looked as though he could have
worked behind the reception desk of the Kremlin. However
when he spoke he did so in a Liverpudlian accent. ?Me I
blame the Con-serv-a-tive government, me. The Tour-rees.
That-cher. Me. They need a good kicking? He jerked his feet
forward and struck the seat in front with his Doc Martins.
?With these. Me Doc Martins. Doctor Martin?s, Doctor
Martin?s, Doctor Martin?s Booots!? The phrase was now
being sung over and over again as the man writhed in his seat
and clicked his fingers.
Dirk looked down at the boots and thought of the reaction
most people used to deal with the paranoids at the end of the
wire. A nice quick kick. ?Oi nutter - get some therapy?. This is
the easy way out and perhaps the safest. After all there you
are sat, alone, in front of the screen. No body language
between you some paranoid. No way of telling if he really is
some gibbering psycho. Look at it too long and you be drawn
in. Fall into the tangled database of weird links with him. Who
knows he may be watching you, reassembling and linking your
experiences with his. How sure are you of you own cognitive
threads. After all cognition is only a bug fix for a neurological
system which was designed in a hurry - it?s abused by
everyone from politicians to advertisers. If people really can
convince each other that a bottle of washing up liquid is as
exciting as an orgasm using just television God knows what
they can do with a computer. Better to avoid the risk. A swift
kick. After all if you?re Homophobic you put the boot in
because you are scared of any ambiguity in your own sexuality
- why not be Nutterphobic as well.
Although Dirk would have liked to devoted time to tracking
the culprit down he decided to let it rest. The Internet
changed over the next twenty odd years. A lot of the people
who used it went out and got lives. And those who already
had lives burnt them away. The number of users had dwindled
after someone had invented a C++ program, with truth as a
variable, to deal handle politics and government. Dirk had
already retired from finding old ladies cats with the help of
obscure science when he got another call from Toronto.
It was 4th March 2025 when he booked onto the Air Canada
flight from Heathrow. The silver haired woman in the seat
next to him painted bright red lipstick around her mouth. ?Of
course it was no surprise to be offered the job after Claire
Raynor retired? she sneered? After all I used to be a
psychiatric nurse... Now if Blokes had periods they would
understand...?
By chance the taxi ride to Toronto mental hospital took him
past the MacDonalds - where the whole thing had started. Of
course it was barely recognisable having become a Church Of
Scientology Vedgie Bar. Police in riot gear kept the two sets
of demonstrators apart. Dirk didn?t really know what to
expect when he got to the hospital. The girl at the reception
desk directed him to a row of chairs in a wide well lit
corridor. There was a strong smell of disinfectant, the
furniture and the carpets were immaculately clean and behind
the rows of teak veneer doors the ?nutters? were all safely
locked away. For some reason Dirk started thinking about
CompuServe forums.
A tall blond woman in a white coat approached. ?Mr Gentle, I
assume?
?Yes? Dirk replied shaking her by the hand. ?You?re the nurse
who...?
?Doctor? She interrupted, ?Doctor Killfile? She led Dirk across
the corridor towards one of the doors then stopped with her
hand resting on the handle. ?Now you know about this person
don?t you?? and after Dirk nodded she continued ?Don?t tell
him anything about yourself - don?t let him get into you head.
If he does he?ll screw it up?
The door opened to reveal a frail man sitting in from of a TV
screen. He had a keyboard on his lap and next to the television
was a computer screen. Dirk glanced at the walls of the room
and remembered that his settee at home need upholstering.
The nurse left the room and the man looked up ?So you come
to my daughters wedding and ask me to kill a man? he said in
a dry cackling voice. ?Look? he continued, pointing at the
screen, ?I know that man. They?re talking about me now -
listen?. The man stared at Dirk. ?What?s your name? Are you
one of my friends from the Internet? - Are the lambs still
screaming Dirk??
Dirk, at first recoiled in horror, then felt a sense of anti
climax. So this is what they hyped up to superstar status on
the back of their own fears of madness. Dirk was reminded of
the film ?A day on The Beach? where a submarine had set off
to search a post nuclear World to track down a signal coming
from a remote military base - only to find it was being sent by
a Coke bottle half balanced on a Morse tapper. Outside the
room the nurse waited for him. Because his nicotine craving
had returned - and to avoid an awkward piece of dialogue -
Dirk turned to her and asked . ?Patch??
Dirk took two nicotine patches from his wallet the first of
which he stuck onto the inside of his arm. Stepping closer to
Doctor Killfile he opened her white coat and slid his hand
into the opening at the front of her dress. He pressed the
patch onto her leg as close to the top of her inner thigh as
he dare. She took a deep breath and then slowly breathed out.
?What Bogart could have done with these things? Dirk
thought to himself.
?Is he crazy?? Dirk asked tilting his head back to towards the
door.
?Who knows? Doctor Killfile replied ?We let him type away.
He sees something on the TV in the morning and it keeps him
busy all day. What he types doesn?t go anywhere it just stays
on a mainframe in the basement. It can be read by anyone else
in the building but that?s it. We got them all in here conspiracy
theorists, racists, nationalists. They?ve created a world within
a world really...? Her voice trailed away and she stared down
the corridor for a while then added ?So long are two things
are different neither will come to be in the other and so
become at once both one and two.?
Dirk gave her a puzzled look ?You mean their brains are
fried??
?Fried?? Killfile smiled at Dirk ?No that was Plato?. Then the
smile fell from her face. ?You must remember, mister, plate
o...?
756 Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73037
MI5 Persecution: Security Service Tribunal Denies
Security Service Tribunal Denies
In June 1997 the Security Service Tribunal wrote to me regarding the complaint I had brought against MI5 in February. They say,
The Security Service Tribunal have now investigated your complaint and
have asked me to inform you that no determination in your favour has
been made on your complaint.
Again, I do not believe their denials. I think MI5 *has* taken the action against me as described, and is refusing
to admit what they have done. To the best of my knowledge, the Security Service Tribunal has *never* found in favour
of a complainant. This tends to strongly suggest that MI5 lies on a routine basis, and the Tribunal can't fulfil its
functions in the face of Security Service falsehoods.
756 Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73036
Task Requests from Outlook 2007
I need to be able to send a task request from Outlook 2007 to a user who is
running Entourage 2004....and have Entourage show the item as a task.
From my initial tests, the items show up in Entourage as an email with no
way to accept the task.
Is it possible to do this? What tricks are envolved?
Do I have to have an Exchange server? Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73031
Entourage 2004 can not open the identity?
I backed up my database from my old mac and installed Entourage 2004 on
my new tower and the database opened right up. I installed Entourage
2004 on my other work computer, though it will not open the database. It
say that the identity can not be opened with this version of Entourage,
or something like that. Both macs are running 2004. What is wrong? Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73029
Entourage compression of photos
I am a new mac user and am sending email work related through entourage
wiht 10 photos I can not get them to compress so they will send. I have
stuff it (trial version but it says full version) I checked the
appropraite box under preferences. When I go to send the mail the
compression option is greyed. My mac is a 10.4.8 . I downloaded the
free trial of stuff it I am not sure what version that would be . Any
help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73027
Problem with Entourage 2004 Public Folders
I just got a new apple computer and put Entourage 2004 on it. I have
it connected to my Microsoft Exchange 2003 server and everything is
working correctly with the exception of 'some' of the public folders.
Out of 9 public folders, only 3 can be accessed correctly. I'm the
owner of each but the other 6 public folders have 'greyed out' icons, I
take it indicating some type of a problem but I can't find any
information on why these would be greyed out 'disabled'???
I can't even drag them into the Favorites folder.
Anyone ever see anything like this before?
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks
Martin Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73025
Recommendation for PDA Phone?
Has anyone had success syncing a pda phone with entourage. What do you
recommend? I am using a powerbook G4 MacOS 10.3.9 with Entourage 2004. Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73024
using Entourage calendar on other mac
Hi,
I have a MacBook Pro with an entourage calendar which I want to import
on another mac (PPC) in entourage.
I have tried exporting, with only the calendar files but I'm not able
to import on the other mac (PPC).
Importing the files as .ics on the mac(PPC) does work but I can only
import one at a time. The calendar holds 898 items! So that's my last
possibility.
Other ideas, please.
regards
Ray Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73020
repeat events appear shifted by one hour in one specific week
Hi all,
just created a repeat event for the whole year and in one of the weeks
(feb 11-17) it appears shifted by one hour, i.e. every wek the
conference call is at 10am but only that weeks it shows one our later
(in another event happens the same thing in that particular week).
on the screen it shows 11am
if I open the series, the start time says 10am
If I open the event, the start time says 11am
even after i open and correct the event back to 10am, it appears on the
screen 11am
(now if I click and open it, it says 10 am - but on screen still 11am)
any ideas?
tks,
LL Tag: saving/copying images from email Tag: 73018
Does anybody know how to save an image that is embedded in an email? On
PC,
you can right click and then "save image as". Can't do that on mac.